Applicants-JOKES

* An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?"

He answered, "No."

* The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?"

The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."

* Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."

Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

* "Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?"

"I ought to be able to. I've had ten different jobs in four months."

* Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of Business School, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"

The applicant said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a black Meredes Benz?"

The applicant sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."